Ask That Guy with the Glasses
by Ultimate Entertainment
Summary: I do not own anything. I simply want to create my own episode(s). Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Directors POV as he observes how the final take turned out

Ask That Guy rises from under the bar.

Ask That Guy says "Hail Hydra! Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Guy with the Glasses."

The title and music start and fade when they are done.

The Narrator says "Why cant Spider-Man be in the Avengers?"

Ask That Guy says "That's a very good question. And the answer is quite simple. Sony hates making money. Did you hear how much the first Amazing Spider-Man film made? A crap load. And when they found out that the new film might flop, they became ecstatic. They thought if it flopped, they could throw the rights back at Marvel and be done with them. Now I know what you're thinking. If Sony doesn't want the rights anymore, why don't they just give them back? Because they're idiots. Yes.

The Narrator says "What is the meaning of life?"

Ask That Guy says "Oh me dear fellow. Isn't it obvious? Its me."

Ask That Guy spreads his arms across the bar and has an evil grin.

Ask That Guy says "And soon you will all be my servants."

The narrator says "Do you have what it takes to be a hero?"

Ask That Guy says "Yes. Yes I do. In fact my super power is that I can use my pipe as a weapon."

Ask That Guy has a confused look.

Ask That Guy says "Oh that's right. I already use my pipe as a weapon. In that case, no. No I do not. Yes."

The narrator says "One of my friends says he has a problem with gay thoughts. How can I help him?"

Ask That Guy says "Well remember Lorelei from that one episode of Agents of SHIELD? Simply go to Asgard. Break her out of prison. Bring her back to earth. And then introduce her to your friend and he will be forever attracted to her and no longer only downside of course would be that eventually she would take over the world and we will all be her slaves. but at least your friend and all the men of the world will no longer be at risk of having gay thoughts. With onions."

The narrator says "Do you have a record deal?"

Ask That Guy says "Why yes I do. Its called THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD! THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD! THIS IS THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD! It's quite popular.

The narrator says "What color is both warm and cold?"

Ask That Guy has a confused look.

Ask That Guy says "Pop-Tar..."

He is interrupted by the Zen Monk.

The Zen Monk yells "ITS NOT POP-TARTS!"

The Narrator says "Why is M. Night Shyamalan afraid of the apostrophe?"

Ask That Guy says "Oh well don't you know? An apostrophe killed his family. And then years later another apostrophe made him co-sign on a lease he knew he couldn't pay back. What a tragic tale? This is That Guy with the Glasses saying... There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it."

Ask That Guy sips his martini glass and then lowers behind the bar.

Ask your stupid questions today.


	2. Chapter 2

Directors POV as he observes how the film turned out

Ask That Guy rises from under the bar.

Ask That Guy says "Tally Hoe. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and Welcome to Ask That Guy with the Glasses."

The title and music occur and the narrator starts the questions.

The narrator says "If Summer is meant to be a time of relaxing and not thinking about school, why do teachers assign Summer reading?"

Ask That Guy says "That's a very good question. And the reason they do that is this. They're school teachers. If you want to become a school teacher when you grow up, then you must be someone who hates Summer break and you want school to be involved in every part of the year and that's why they give you Summer reading. So that you will still do something involving school. Why do you think they make tests and quizzes so difficult? Oh they may tell you that they're proud of you for all your good grades… but they're not. They want students to fail so that you will all be in Summer school and make sure that you have no vacation whatsoever. Now I know what you're thinking. If they want us to fail, why don't they just write F on all our schoolwork? Because they want their Summer vacation of course."

The narrator says "Could a Lightsaber cut through adamantium?"

Ask That Guy says "Yes it could. Because a lightsaber can cut through anything. Especially human flesh. Yes."

The narrator says "Why was Karl Urban in Walking with Dinosaurs?"

Ask That Guy is still for a few seconds and then picks up a gun.

Ask That Guy says "Excuse me a moment."

Ask That Guy walks off screen. 5 seconds later, a gunshot fire is heard. Ask That Guy walks back into the shot and puts the gun away.

Ask That Guy says "I'm sorry. I really hate that movie. I mean my goodness! Nothing in that movie made sense! WHY WAS KARL URBAN IN IT?! HOW WAS THAT BIRD ABLE TO TALK TO THE BOY?! HOW COULD A FLASHBACK BASED NARRATION DO AN INSTANT REPLAY?! GOODNESS THAT MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE! Yes."

The narrator says "How many people nominated you for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?"

Ask That Guy says "Everyone nominated me. And soon I will have my revenge. That's right. I am going to go into every person's house and dump fire on them. Now I know what you're thinking. How can I put fire in a bucket? Oh don't worry. You'll find out soon. Yes."

The narrator says "Coke or Pepsi?"

Ask That Guy says "Hamster Jelly."

The narrator says "Do you ever have the sensation that you are falling?"

Ask That Guy says "Yes I do."

The narrator says "Do you ever feel that today is yesterday?"

Ask That Guy says "Quite often, yes."

The narrator says "Do you ever notice a smell of fudge?"

Ask That Guy says "Yes. With onions. And I know what you're doing good sir, and I will not be giving up this artifact pipe. I don't care that it makes me feel like someone set off a smoke bomb in my stomach and see everything in the color purple, I… like it. This is That Guy with the Glasses saying, there's…"

Ask That Guy is interrupted when he is struck by electricity and falls to the ground.

Ask your stupid questions today.


	3. Chapter 3

Ask that Guy rises from under the bar.

Ask that Guy says "Waka Waka. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and Welcome to Ask that Guy with the Glasses."

The title and music play and the narrator begins the questions.

The narrator says "Could you loan me a cup of sugar?"

Ask that Guy says "That's a very good question. And of course you can."

Ask that guy lifts a measuring cup filled with green glowing powder in it.

Ask that Guy says "Here you go. No its not glowing."

The narrator says "Why do you keep sugar under your bar?"

Ask that Guy says "No it wasn't glowing."

The narrator says "The prophecy has been fulfilled. Ridley is not playable. Will you join us in ranting at all those low lives that think he ever had a chance?"

Ask that Guy says "Who's Ridley?"

The narrator says "If I drink acid, will I be Batman?"

Ask that Guy has a confused look.

Ask that Guy says "What kinda question is that? I mean I know I get some bizarre questions but… What is that? But just to answer, yes. Yes you will. In fact I have a vile of acid right here. It taste delicious if you add it to Club Soda. Would you like some? True it will cause a strange burning sensation in your brain, but don't worry. I drank it many times and I'm completely cranberry. Yes."

The narrator says "Why is the sky blue?"

Ask that Guy says "Because a Smurf peed in space… With onions."

The narrator says "But how could a Smurf survive in space?"

Ask that Guy says "Well because Smurfs are blue mini demonic dwarves… So how could they not survive in space? Yes."

The narrator says "You're pretty. Can I have some of your hair?"

Ask that Guy says "Certainly. You can have…"

As he was talking, he proceeded to reach and pull on his hair. He has a majorly pained look with his mouth opened holding back a scream. He squirming around in pain.

Ask that Guy screams "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He attempts to hold back a second yell but fails.

Ask that Guy screams "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He is silent for a moment.

Ask that Guy says "How did I not remember from the last time?

Ask that Guy screams "OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He is still in a bit of pain and groans.

Ask that Guy in pain says "This… Is that Guy with the Glasses saying, there's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it."

Ask that Guy puts his hand on the spot where he pulled his hair and mouths the word owe.

Ask your stupid questions today.


	4. Chapter 4

Ask That Guy rises from under the bar and wobbles his tongue.

Ask That Guy says "Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to ask That Guy with the Glasses."

The title and music occur and the narrator begins the questions.

The narrator says "I am Autobot who has just been legally made an American citizen. Should I buy life insurance or car insurance?"

Ask That Guy says "That's a very good question. I would suggest getting two forms of insurance and one of them life insurance. As for the second insurance you buy, well it really depends on what you transform into since not all you Transformers turn into cars. If you turn into a boat you should get boat insurance. If you turn into a motorcycle, get motorcycle insurance. And if you turn into a pipe, get pipe insurance. That's right. My pipe is a Transformer. Say hello Smokewood."

Ask That Guy holds his pipe to his ear and laughs.

Ask That Guy says "He is quite the charmer.

The narrator says "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

Ask That Guy Pulls out his gun, Fires it and puts it away.

Ask That Guy says "Next question."

The narrator "I am Groot?"

Ask That Guy says "Ha ha. Indeed. Ha ha."

The narrator says "What was the last question in regular English?"

Ask That Guy says "Oh no it really was I am Groot? The asker's having some amnesia problems. How did he get amnesia you ask?"

Ask That Guy points at himself.

Ask That Guy says "Yes."

The narrator says "Have you seen my Bat-Credit Card?

Ask That Guy says "A BAT-CREDIT CARD?!"

Ask That Guy fires his gun rapidly, but it ends when the narrator asks the next question.

The narrator says "There are a wide variety of juice flavors. Apple, grape, orange, tomato, grapefruit, cranberry etc. Are there other flavors?"

Ask That Guy says "Oh well of course there are. There's Pomegranate, Watermelon, Garbanzo Bean, Pepper Jack, Pinecone, Bark, Christmas Cookie, Aloe, Cucumber, Onion, Banana, Onion & Banana, and of course, Hamster Jelly & Onions. Yes. This is That Guy with the Glasses saying There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a glass of Hamster Jelly and Onion juice."

A moment of silence for Ask That Guy With The Glasses ending today with its final episode. Continue to ask your stupid questions today here.


End file.
